WOWEE! It’s been a long time since I last updated. But look for more updates coming up! I have a show at the Kirksville Arts Association from January 20th to February 20th. The reception is Friday, January 20th from 6-7pm. Refreshments will be provided! Here is the postcard:
Category Archives: Portland
Will the audience be willing?
to give to me?
to commit fully?
because I am fully committed
and only as committed as you are.
While I leave it up to chance,
but give them all of the tools
really, it’s all a lie.
I am learning to let go.
I am willing to be vulnerable.
Ultimately, I am the real audience.
After my last cinematheque class of the year (which, we watched a really, really great film tonight—more on that in a sec), I went for a run. Now, I’ve wanted to go on a run for a while now, but haven’t had the time. Running when it’s 91 degrees, even at night, after months of not taking it seriously was a pretty dumb idea. I made it up State Street, which is a fairly steep hill, around the corner and embarrassingly gave up after I passed a large bar crowd. Thinking about this failure drew up a few ideas that I can talk about for my critique in two weeks that I honestly have nothing to show. I guess I can talk about the spelling bee that I am organizing and the small gallery that I’m building. On top of that, my other working ideas include a maze of failure designed for ants, a series of photos of me wearing ornate and intricate hand sewn headdresses of flightless birds at airports, continuing on my palmistry, and my interests in noetic psychology. I also demonstrated to a friend tonight how I am able to continuously do heel clicks (happy kicks) with duality on both sides of my body for reasonably an hour. She suggested that I turn that into a street performance piece. While that could work, I don’t want that kind of a reputation in Portland. That would mean competing with electric-guitar-on-bike guy, the whistler, and retired-sailor-look-a-like-turned-jewelry-salesman guy (if you’ve been in Portland for one day, you would know exactly who I’m talking about).
The film we watched was called WR: The Mysteries of the Organism. Let me list a basic synopsis:
-Dry, hysterical, witty humor
-border line pornographic
-cult like protagonists
-like able characters
-crazy and uncomfortable doctor/patient scenarios
-fake military man
-a really fantastic ending
It got me thinking that I would really like to visit the Wilhelm Reich Museum in Rangely, Maine. Possibly this weekend or next. One of my professors for the class, Kenneth White built a orgone energy accumulator, which he donated to the MFA office, based off this film and the teachings of Wilhelm Reich. I can’t wait to try it out.
If you’re interested in watching 80 minutes of enlightened absurdity, I highly recommend checking this film out. I might watch it a second time.
Again, this isn’t the usual forum for me to post this kind of thing, but now that this marks two personal blog posts, it is becoming the usual thing for this site?
I feel like I am a different person—meaning, I suddenly am feeling like I don’t want to leave Portland. I am a month through this 8 week summer intensive, and I’m feeling stressed out that there are still so many things I want to do in my art, etc., especially while I am here. Right now, I’m feeling more “Joyce” than I have in a really long time. I’m really liking it. This feels right. And good. But perhaps, I think I’m just living off the high of having Sina Najafi wear one of my animal masks during an educational interview.
—Updated CV, July 9, 2011.
—I, along with many New England Non-conventional artists, will be participating in an independent art show in early August. If you’d like to help out or support, please consider making a small donation to insure that this show happens, or send positive thoughts my/our way. Check us out at: New England Independent Art Show.
As you may have guessed, I am indeed in Portland. I heard the title, “Portlandia” thrown around sometime ago–I think it’s about the other Portland (Oregon) and it’s a TV show or something. Haven’t watched it.
School so far has been great! Right now, I’m not thinking about eminent loans, but instead ideas and processes that I want to develop in the next couple of weeks. We’ve already had a great guest lecturer, and tomorrow, we’re having Allan McCollum.
I’m really excited to hear about his work. I know that visiting artists critique our own work, but honestly I haven’t had any time to even start anything since I arrived, so hopefully that doesn’t happen this week.
One of the projects I started while in Missouri, and ended upon my arrival to Portland is a series of hand drawn paste ups that I’ve left all over my journey. I’ve been detailing the turmoil and fear I had about being here, living, loans, being alone–the whole stifling, emotional ride I’ve been orchestrating. I put all of these feelings into words and drawings and left them in places that I stopped at throughout my trip. Here are a few images of some I managed to take (some I couldn’t):
I also want to apologize for all of these shitty images. The pieces were still drying for one, I needed to act stealthy, and some of these were taken at night/dusk.
These drawings detail the effect of the stress and looming presence of the future, questioning my past and present decisions, and the fear of failure and loneliness. I felt like I was trapped by so many choices, drowning in my future, washing away and losing hair. I physically felt like I am/was losing hair. In all of these drawings, which I call “Creak” drawings, my hair becomes a watery environment, where I lose myself and the inhibitions that are holding me back from this delicate and life changing present. Each time I drew out my emotions I felt better. And each time I pasted them up on a wall, I felt less alone. Making this 1400 mile trip alone to MECA was a process, a labor in itself and my lonely nights drawing these helped alleviate my stress. I named them “Creak” drawings, as a tie to the physical body of water—creek—with water being so important to my imagery, and to elude to the scariest noise you could hear, when you’re alone and you don’t want to be–“Creeeeeeeeaaaaaak”.
There are two more drawings. One in Springfield, Massachusetts. The other, I never hung up. It was to be the final piece and I was going to paste it upon my arrival to Maine, but then I saw a Swoon up not even a block away from my school and felt embarrassed by my work. Maybe I will put it up. But how can I even compare to this (though, I know I shouldn’t compare my work):
God, I love her pieces so much.
I have some ideas working around some three-dimensional projects, which I will post up later.
Portland in itself has been pretty wonderful so far. However, I am without a doubt, allergic to all of Maine. I can’t breathe here. Today it rained, and I was finally able to inhale fully but not deeply. It’s frustrating. I’ve never felt so immobilized and sick. At one point, I had 4 nosebleeds between 3 days. Otherwise, the food has been good, the people have been nice, my classmates are friendly, and I’m so tuckered out by the end of the day, I wake up and don’t know where I am in the morning.